Love at Home

Do you feel that it is easier to be nice to your friends than it is to be nice to your brother and sisters?

We are usually our best to people outside our family rather than the people in our family!  Sometimes we can be thoughtless and even cruel to our family

 by our words and actions.

The Family:  A Proclamation to the World states:

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

The Savior taught us to love one another as he loves us. He loves us even when we are not doing everything we should. We should learn to love our own family members in this same way.  

Here are some activities to do in your families

If Jesus Came to Visit Us

Begin the lesson by asking the following questions:

• How would you feel if Jesus came to visit us in our home?
• Would we want to change the way we act toward each other?

Explain that the Savior would be unhappy if family members were not kind and loving to each other. He cares about each one of us and wants us to feel the love that he and Heavenly Father have for us. We cannot feel their love and support in our home when family members do not show love and kindness.

Inviting the Spirit of the Lord into Our House

Find out if the family members discovered the notes that you wrote. Have each family member tell how he felt when he read his note.

• In what way did it affect your day?

Explain that when we express our love for one another, even in little things, both the receiver and the giver feel good inside.

Explain that when we show our love and appreciation for one another at home we also help bring a good spirit into the home. This is the kind of feeling our Heavenly Father and Jesus want us to have in our home. This is why we were commanded to love one another. A happy home is one that is filled with love, one that invites the Spirit of the Lord to be there. (See Galatians 5:13–14, Ephesians 5:25, 1 John 4:7.)

Tell the following story:

A Family Night

It was almost time for family home evening in the Reynolds home.

Jeanette was busy in the kitchen taking the last batch of hot cookies out of the oven. She had worked all afternoon to prepare refreshments. Father called all the children to come into the living room.

Debby, Jeanette’s little sister, ran down the stairs and grabbed a handful of cookies on her way through the kitchen. Jeanette angrily caught her blouse sleeve as she dashed past, and the sleeve ripped. Debby hollered, “Look what you did!”

“Well, if you had just asked first,” cried Jeanette. “It’s not my fault.”

Soon the two girls were arguing, and mother had to come into the kitchen to stop them. She became upset herself when she saw Debby’s torn blouse.

Finally father got everyone into the living room together. Debby sat down in one corner of the room, and Jeanette in the other. Even after the opening prayer, everyone in the family felt uncomfortable. The warm spirit they usually felt during their family nights was not there.

During the lesson mother brought some photo albums out and handed them to the children. “I thought you might enjoy looking through these old pictures tonight,” she said.

Everyone gathered together to see the pictures. The little children were especially excited to see themselves. They laughed and pointed whenever they found themselves in a picture. Mother held up a picture of Debby and Jeanette when they were little. “Remember when you two got into my oil paints?” she asked. The girls had to laugh when they saw themselves in the picture covered with red and blue paint.

Soon all the family was caught up in reminiscing. Even Jeanette and Debby talked about the fun times they had together on their camping trip.

The spirit had changed. Everyone in the family could feel the spirit of love in their home again. When they knelt together in prayer, they felt the Spirit of the Lord with them.

• What happened to the spirit in the Reynolds home when the children started arguing?

Have someone read Mosiah 4:14.

• How did this affect their family home evening at first?
• Why did the spirit change when everyone started sharing good thoughts and acting kindly to one another again?
• Why is it important that we try to be thoughtful and loving to each other in our home?

Explain to your family that, just as in the Reynolds’ home, when family members are kind and loving toward one another, the Lord’s Spirit can also be in their home. But when they argue or are angry with one another, the Spirit leaves.

A Game About Love

Without revealing the name of the person, have family members tell of an incident in which another family member demonstrated love. Each person could begin by saying, “I’m thinking about someone that did … to show his love.” Have the other family members guess who the loving family member is. Make sure that everyone has a turn and that each member is used as an example of love so that no one feels left out.

When It Is Hard to Show Love

Explain that it is easy to be polite and kind to friends and people we don’t have to live with, but it is not always easy to be kind and loving to those closest to us, our own family members. Sometimes a family member may say or do something that offends another family member, which may result in bad feelings. We can overcome those bad feelings and learn to be more loving toward one another if we really try. (See 1 Corinthians 13:4.)

Use the following story to show how expressing love helps us overcome negative feelings toward each other:

It Works

“I will not iron your shirt. Iron it yourself,” Sybil said to her brother Phillip, who was two years younger than she.

“No, you won’t iron mine, but you’d jump at a chance to iron a shirt for Tim Cruthers,” retorted Phil as he ran outside.

“It worries me, Sybil,” mother said, “to see you and Phillip treat each other the way you do.”

“Oh, he makes me so mad that I can’t stand him!”

“Would you be willing to try an experiment—just you—without his knowing anything about it?”

“Tell me what it is first.”

Mother challenged her, “No matter what Phil does or says, you do and say only those things that show your love for him. See what happens. I’ll be an interested observer.”

“Oh, that would be hard. I’m not sure I could do it. Do you think he’d change? It would be good to have a brother who was a friend. You know, Marianne and her brother have the best relationship with each other. Maybe she can give me some pointers. I’ll think about it, mother.”

On her way to school next morning, Sybil stopped at Marianne’s house so they could walk together as usual. Marianne was carrying a heavy load of posters. As they came out, Phil passed by. Sybil called out to him, “Oh, Phil, please carry my books so I can help Marianne with these posters.”

“Yes, I will, just like you ironed my shirt.”

“I’m sorry about that. I’ll iron it tonight.”

But Phil showed no signs of having heard her.

Having missed lunch that day to prepare for a test, Sybil was very hungry when she got home. She made herself a sandwich. Just as she was about to take a bite, Phil came in and said, “Hey, Syb, make one of those for me.”

She opened her mouth to say, “Yes, just like you carried my books,” but instead she said, “Here take this one. I’ll make myself another.”

Phil looked shocked. He grabbed the sandwich and ran.

A few days later, mother said to Sybil, “I think it’s beginning to work, though Phil is still suspicious of your motives.”

Sybil shook her head, “I think I feel a little better toward him. But it’s even harder than I thought it would be. Once I slipped back into the old way and really let him have it.”

“It will take a while for him to feel that you are sincere. But, in the meantime, I must say it is more peaceful around here.”

About a week later, Sybil excitedly said to mother, “It works! You know I was doing the dishes alone. It was Margaret’s turn, but she had a cold so father sent her to bed. And, would you believe it, Phil came out and said he’d dry them. We had the best talk. I really do love him.”

• Why did Sybil and Phil change their attitudes toward each other?

Point out that it only took one of them to show love to change the situation.

• Why is it important that we express our love for one another? (By serving and helping one another, we will help our love for each other to grow.)

Discovering Qualities of Love

Tell the family that they are going to play a game. Begin the game by saying, “I am thinking of something.” Then give the following clues:

1. We cannot see it.
2. We can feel it, but not with our hands.
3. It can be divided up indefinitely.
4. We will never run out of it.
5. It makes us happy.
6. It makes us want to do things for others.
7. It makes us humble.
8. It gives us patience.
9. It makes us want to avoid unrighteous actions.
10. It helps us to be contented with what we have.

After each clue, give family members a chance to guess what it is you are thinking of. Add other clues as you think of them until the family discovers the answer or reaches a time limit.

When they have discovered that “love” is the answer, have family members take turns explaining how love fits each of the clues that you have given. For example, the clue “It can be divided up indefinitely” means that we can love everyone without decreasing our love for any individual.

Read and discuss Paul’s definition of love (charity) from 1 Corinthians 13:4–7, 13.

Suggest that family members choose one of the qualities of love they have discussed and try to apply love throughout a whole day to test whether it is a true quality.

Saying I Love You

Divide the family into teams. Within a time limit, see which team can make the longest list of ways to say, “I love you.” Reward the winning team members with hugs or treats.

Discuss the lists, and choose the best items from each. Have a family member act as a secretary and copy these items on small cards, one to each card. Mix up the cards, and give each player the same number. Also write “I love you” on enough cards for each family member to have four.

During the coming week, each player tries to see how many cards he can cancel by saying or doing the thing on the card sincerely and at an appropriate time to another family member. The player may want to write on the card when and how that card was used in order to be ready to report at the next family home evening. Anyone who uses up all of his cards can receive special recognition.

Having Fun Expressing Love

Play “Spin the Bottle.” Seat family members in a circle with a soda bottle on its side in the middle of the circle. Before each turn, announce what the person whom the bottle points to will do. Then spin the bottle. For example, after the bottle stops spinning, have the person that the bottle points to give someone a hug or a kiss, tell something helpful that someone did for him lately, say what he likes about someone, do something for someone that can be done quickly, or promise to do a small deed for someone during the next day. You can add other things to do that are appropriate for your family.