Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dating (but were afraid to ask)

Sean Covey is the author of The Six Most Important Decision You'll Ever Make.  It's a fabulous book for teens or anyone looking for straight talk and more direction in their lives.  The dating world is upside down.  Dates are considered hooking up or hanging out.  Proper dating has become a thing of the past!  

Two important myths to avoid are:

1. Pairing up:  Having a girlfriend or a boyfriend is the only want to be happy (or popular)
2. Getting Physical:  The more you like someone, the more physical you have to get.  You can only show love with your body.  

• You don't have to buy into these myths. 
• Be smart. 
• You can have a non-boyfriend/girlfriend centered life in your teens 
• You can keep your relationships healthy
• You can shield yourself from getting into abusive relationships
• You can have fun

 Here are 5 tips to intelligent dating:

1. Don't date too young - Most teens that start starting young almost always wish they hadn't.  The truth is that even though your body is developing - you're not quite ready for the problems you'll run into if you start dating too young.  Some of those problems are lose of friends, getting taking advantage of, conflicts with your parents, getting physical too soon, and break-ups (because let's face it - it's gonna happen).  16 years old is a good goal to have to start going on casual, friendly dates or dating in groups.  
2. Date People Your Own Age - This bit of advice especially applies to girls.  Don't be fooled is that college age guy is hanging around.  It's only trouble.  It may be flattering but it's not healthy.  Sean Covey shares this story:  I had my first serious relationship when I was in sixth grade.  I can't even begin to say what attracted me to him, but somehow he pulled me in.  Before I knew it I was in over my head.  He was a few years older and I think I liked that an older guy was interested in me.  This guy had a lot of problems.  He was very controlling and liked to push me around.  He would never let me do things with my friends or talk to other guys.  It took me a long time to realize that this was not normal, especially at my age.  I was scared of him and I didn't know who to tell.  The relationship went on until the end of my freshman year in high school.  Don't let this happen to you!
3. Get to Know Lots of People - We all dream of finding a soul mate.  We love the idea of fairy tales coming true.  We are in a hurry to fall in love with the first person that shows an interest.  However, forming relationships actually cuts us off from other friendships and you run the risk of not developing who you are meant to be.  Don't be in a big rush to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend.  Teenage years are the years to have fun - not drama.  A good rule to follow would be: Never date the same person twice.  This avoids getting trapped in a serious relationship when you are too young.  You get to know a variety of different people.  By doing so, you discover who you are and what direction you want your life to go it.  There is a woman who decided that was going to do an experiment.  She dated 31 guys in 31 days.  Yes, you heard that right.  She actually had 30 different dates.  The 31st date was a repeat date that she picked from the 30.  You can read her blog here.  She also published a book by the same name.  She had rules set up - like a date has to last at least 31 minutes and her budget for each date was $31.  She discovered so much about herself throughout her experiment.  She opened herself to really see something special in each guy she dated and came to the realization of how unique each person is.  She also realized how much God loves his children.  Spoiler Alert:  she did end up marrying her 31st date!!
4. Date in Groups - Dating in groups is usually more fun.  You can relax a bit more and it's not so formal or awkward.  There's safety in numbers! Here are
   
   some fun group date ideas.  Bake cookies together and deliver them to friends, play board games, have a picnic and go to an outdoor concert, go hiking, visit museums, have a karaoke party, do a road rally game, go to the beach, water ski, go to the mountains and roast marshmallows, go to a local school play and then for ice cream....see I bet you're having fun already. 
5. Set Your Own Boundaries - Now is the time to decide what kind of person you will and won't date.  Decide now what's off limits for you and be determined that you won't let anyone talk you into lowering yourself.  If you don't decide beforehand, stuff will happen that you didn't plan on and may regret.  Sean Covey says, "The greatest form of protection from heartbreak, inflated expectations, disease, pregnancy or unwanted advances are the personal standards you set for yourself."  Remember to only date people with GOOD reputations, STAY AWAY from compromising situations such as car parking, getting drunk or high, or even babysitting with your date while the parents are out, KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON and HANDS OFF.